No television show (or any form of media for that matter) has defined me as a human being as much as the Simpsons. This revelation is both sad and pathetic, but nonetheless alarmingly true. I watch at least 1 episode a day (usually 2-3) and basically all of my jokes and conversations are recycled from episodes that are more than a decade old. So now that we’ve established my credibility as a failure of a man, I’ll get to the point. The other day read an article on IGN about the best Simpsons episodes from each season, and being devoid of any original thought (yes I know, I’ve already established this) I have decided to make my own version of this list.
Season 1- Episode 1: Simpsons Roasting on an Open fire.
To be honest, I’m not a big fan of the first season of what I now consider my favourite TV show of all time (The Wire comes in at #2). The animation was rough, the characters had not been established and fleshed out (this is not a condemnation of the episodes as of course they weren’t, it was a brand new show), and Homer’s voice was still an impression of Walter Matthau. I chose the pilot episode because it was the beginning of something that I would strangely worship for more than half of my life. Mr. Burns (and Smithers, who is portrayed as black at this point, he was later inexplicably turned white…errr…yellow?) denies Homer and his fellow drones at the nuclear power plant their Christmas bonus, forcing Homer to work as a mall Santa in order to provide his family with the Christmas they deserve. At the time, this show was an irreverent breath of fresh air, and it established the Simpsons as one of the truest reflections of the modern American family.
Favourite Quote: “I can’t believe it, but it looks as though television has betrayed me” – Bart
Season 2- Episode 10: Bart Gets hit by a car.
Mr. Burns (the sometimes multimillionaire others multibillionaire, who’s life seemingly revolves around the Simpsons) hits Bart with his car, causing minor injuries. Cue the emergence of ambulance chasing Lawyer Lionel Hutz and Quack Doctor Nick Riviera (HI EVERYBODY) an idiotic duo trying to coax the family into suing Mr. Burns by hilariously exaggerating said injuries. This episode marks the first guest appearance by the late, great Phil Hartman as bottom feeding shyster (and sometimes cobbler) Lionel Hutz.
Favourite Quote: “Just look at the X-rays! You see that dark spot there? Whip-lash.
And this smudge here, that looks like my fingerprint? No, that’s trauma!” – Dr. Nick Riviera
Season 3- Episode 17: Homer at The Bat
In an extended nod to the movie “The Natural” Homer, his home-made Wonder Bat, and the rest the Springfield power plant nine cruise through the softball season and into the championship game with rival Shelbyville. In order to ensure he wins the championship (and a giant bet with Shelbyville Plant owner Aristotle Amadopoulos) Mr. Burns secures the athletic prowess of baseball’s best (Wade Boggs, Steve Sax, Ken Griffey Jr., Darryl Strawberry, Jose Canseco, Ozzie Smith, Roger Clemens, Mike Scioscia and Don Mattingly). Ultimately, each player but Strawberry suffers through a hilarious (sometimes gruesome) circumstance that prevents them from playing in the big game…my heart still smiles when I think of Ken Griffey’s gigantism caused by an old timey nerve tonic. As a baseball fan, this episode blew my young mind as all of the major leaguers provided their own voices…some even proved they had comedic timing. The cherry on top is the song at the end that sums up the episode so beautifully.
Favourite Quote: “MATTINGLY! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO TRIM THOSE SIDEBURNS! GO! YOU’RE OFF THE TEAM”- Mr. Burns. “I still like him better than Steinbrenner”- Don Mattingly
Season 4- Episode 18: Last Exit to Springfield
“Dental plan, Lisa needs braces, dental plan, Lisa needs braces…” This hilarious repetition of Marge and Lenny statements in Homer’s head basically describes the entire plot of the episode. Mr. Burn’s tries to take away the plant’s dental plan and Homer, the newly minted union rep, calls for a strike because…well you know, Lisa needs braces. This episode is a delightful collection of movie references smashed together including nods to Batman, The Godfather Part II, How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Citizen Kane. There were a plethora of amazing quotes to choose from in this all time classic episode, and I almost found it impossible to just choose one, I said almost.
Favourite Quote: (when asked if he was able to find the bathroom Homer looks around suspiciously) “Uhhh…Yeah?”- Homer
Season 5- Episode 3: Homer Goes to College
My All time Favourite episode of the Simpsons. Period. Exclamation point. Written by Conan O’Brien, Homer goes to college may be, nay, is the funniest episode of anything ever (In my opinion, but since I’m writing this, my opinion, for the first time: actually matters). After the nuclear regulatory team deems Homer dangerously unqualified, he is sent back to college to take nuclear physics 101 and after somehow causing a nuclear catastrophe in class is forced to seek the help of three tutors (the biggest nerds of all time, possibly nerdier than the people on this site, the Nerdiest nerds that ever nerd…nerded?). Most of the jokes from the episode stem from Homer’s disappointment that college isn’t exactly like “Animal House” or any of the college party movies he’s seen on TV. Pigs are drunkened ( I know “drunkened” is not a real word), college deans are hit by cars and countless lives are put at risk of nuclear radiation along the way, as Homer does not learn a valuable lesson about studying hard.
Favourite Quote: “This bra bomb better work Nerdlinger”- Corey. “Nyeah”- Nerdlinger. (Excerpt from “School of Hard Knockers: Starring Corey Masterson”)
**Stay Tuned in the Coming Days for Part 2**