Okay, by now it should be no secret that I’m a huge metalhead. The ‘tallica rant, the video game metal post, the fact that I left the “Me” out of “Metallica” just now, and most importantly, the fact that my t-shirt currently reads, “Slatallicadethrax”. I grew up on Doom (the game, not the subgenre of metal) and Command & Conquer. I don’t know if that’s what did it for me and I just didn’t pick up on it until years later but the result is: DanyLektro loves his metal.
While doing some browsing this morning, I came across this article on The Deciblog and tried to make sense of it. Now, the Deciblog is known in the online metal community for being.. well, a bit off, more marketed than most of the blogs out there. This, however, annoyed and aggitated even me. The “Classic Rock Boyfriend Tee”.
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=18000430&navAction=jump&navCount=3
I am by no means advertising this abomination. I, like any metalhead, have dated people. I, like any metalhead, have dated people who occasionally sleep over and require a shirt replacement that makes them feel like they own you. Luckily for that last ex, I’m not really into Rammstein anymore so she can keep it (though while I would never admit it to her, I found it heartwarming that she wanted to fall asleep in it, even though I could never turn her to the wonder that is being fracking Metal). This is utterly pointless though, and it wouldn’t be nearly as offensive if not for my only experience with this particular chain of stores.
***Warning, personal story that you don’t care about***
I went into said chain because a girlfriend wanted to go shopping. While she was trying on clothing, I noticed a bearded, unkempt individual wearing an Anthrax shirt. Being someone who loves thrash metal, I went over to the young man to compliment the shirt. He had no idea who Anthrax was… however, the shirt was PART OF HIS UNIFORM. He worked there, and people who work there are required to “look the part”. This means that they go and try to look original themselves… so.. what the frack…
***Done, sorry***
Essentially, this shirt is designed for women who want to feel like or want to impress their.. ahem.. “classic rock boyfriend”. The shirt is designed to be oversized a bit, and each sports a wonderful print of a formerly produced shirt that these respectable bands SHOULD be carrying with pride. Advice: go to Iron Maiden’s website, buy one. OR even better, steal your boyfriend’s!
I can’t see these selling well, but then again, it’s Urban Outfitters, and a LOT of hipster chicks fall for this kind of crap (no offense if you’re a hipster chick)
–Jeff “DanyWTFLektro”
